Children With Autism
Children with autism deal with a lot each day as they interpret their environment through their unique sensory perceptions. Parents of children with autism are often overwhelmed as they seek the best treatments and therapies. Parents are engrossed in their role as leader of the child’s therapeutic team. Parents have many jobs, as they must act as liasions among the various specialists and also advocate for their child within the school system. In other words, parents are very busy. This sets the stage for the spotlight to rest upon some very interesting characters in the autism family drama: the grandparents.
The importance of the role of the grandparents for children with autism cannot be overstated. In past years over diverse cultures, elders across every society and tribe held positions of great respect. This is because in most cultures elders are the keepers of ancient secrets or wisdom. In a disorder where both the cause and cure are presently unknown, the best course of action is to give deference to the wisdom of the elder members of society.
The grandparents and great- grandparents of children with autism can provide insight into the child’s behavior that parents may be too exhausted to see. Also, upon having a child newly diagnosed with the disorder, parents themselves go through the normal stages of grief. So, in a sense, parents need help too. Grandparents can provide help, unique perspective, patience and experience.
Upon the topic of experience, parents may feel that the grandparents have never before brought up a child with autism, so what can they know about it? Grandparents may not know autism, but they know children. Children are children, after all.
As a personal example in this writer’s experience, my own grandmother was the one who taught her autistic great- grandson (my son) how to write. When he was three years old, she began patiently and painstakingly writing the letter “A” with shaving cream and proceeded through the alphabet until he could write all the letters. Then she taught him to write words. He is fifteen today and evidences no fine motor delay whatsoever. He writes well. She accomplished this during a time when he was completely nonverbal and the rest of the family was in shock, confusion and despair. Age brings patience and patience brings wisdom and results.
Grandparents and great- grandparents of children with autism should have positions of honor in any roundtable discussion that involves brainstorming. Their physical strength might not be great but their life experience contribution is.